Ephesians 6:4
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
King James Version (KJV)
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This verse balances the instruction to children in 6:1-3. Addressing fathers, Paul places responsibility on those in authority, calling for parenting that builds up rather than embitters.
What Does Ephesians 6:4 Mean?
Having addressed children, Paul now turns to fathers, and his instruction comes in two parts -- one negative, one positive. First, the warning: "provoke not your children to wrath." Parental authority can be misused in ways that exasperate and embitter children -- through harshness, unfairness, constant criticism, or impossible demands. Paul cautions against this. The goal of guiding children is never to crush or frustrate them but to help them grow. A parent's power carries responsibility, and that responsibility includes guarding the child's heart against needless anger and discouragement.
Then comes the positive calling: "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." To bring up is to raise and nourish toward maturity. "Nurture" includes training and discipline; "admonition" includes instruction, correction, and counsel. And all of it is "of the Lord" -- centered on God, aiming to teach children His ways and lead them toward Him. The vision of parenting here is rich and balanced: firm yet gentle, guiding without crushing, full of patient instruction rooted in God. For the reader who is a parent, this verse offers both a caution and a calling. Be careful not to provoke or embitter; instead, give yourself to the patient, loving work of raising children in the knowledge and ways of the Lord. Such parenting reflects the very care God shows toward His own children.
In the Original Language
The Greek "parorgizo" (provoke to wrath) means to anger or exasperate. "Paideia" (nurture) means training or discipline; "nouthesia" (admonition) means instruction and correction.
Cross References
“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”
- Colossians 3:21
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
- Proverbs 22:6
“And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”
- Deuteronomy 6:7
Application
If you guide children, watch against harshness that embitters them. Give yourself instead to patient, loving instruction that raises them in the ways of the Lord.