Ephesians 5
Ephesians 5 opens with a simple command: "Be followers of God, as dear children." And what is the content of following God? "Walk in love." All that follows - teaching about relationships, marriage, family - flows from this foundation: that believers are people who have learned to love as Christ has loved them.
The chapter moves from general principles of love and light to specific relationships. Marriage is a covenant image of Christ's relationship with the church. Christ "gave himself for" the church, making her "not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that she should be holy and without blemish." This is the measure by which all love is understood.
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Ephesians 5:1-2Be Ye Followers of God, As Dear Children
1Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; 2And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
To be a "follower" is mimetes - one who imitates, who learns by copying the way a child learns from a father: intimate, relational, rooted in belonging. You are His dear child. That relationship comes first. The imitation follows.
Agape is the willingness to lay down your life. To walk in love means to walk in the habit of giving yourself away, to order your choices around the good of the beloved rather than your own ease or reputation.
Ephesians 5:3-10Walk as Children of Light
3But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; 4Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
Paul names what destroys the body and spirit: sexual unfaithfulness, the endless hunger for more, the spiritual numbness that follows. A saint - one set apart by God - simply does not live this way, because of who you are in Christ.
Even your words matter. Filthy talk, foolish joking, jesting that mocks what is true - these corrode the soul. Instead, Paul sets a single practice: "giving of thanks." The way you speak either leads away from God or toward Him.
5For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
Paul names the whoremonger, the covetous man, and then identifies them together: they are idolaters. To worship your own pleasure, to never have enough, to give yourself over to appetite - this is idolatry. You are bowing before a god that is not God.
People will tell you these things do not matter. That there is no cost to living for your appetite. That God is not watching. That nobody is hurt. These are "vain words" - empty, leading nowhere. Paul names the consequence: the wrath of God comes on those who believe the lie.
8For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: 9(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) 10Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
Before Christ, you were darkness itself - the condition everyone starts in. The darkness is not permanent.
You have been transferred from darkness to light. Christ is your light. The only response is to walk accordingly - openly, truthfully, without hiding.
The fruit of the Spirit is goodness, righteousness, and truth - the real, lived openly. When you walk as children of light, your life becomes a question - a silent proof - to everyone who sees it: Is there really something to this? Is God really real?
Ephesians 5:11-14Have No Fellowship with the Works of Darkness
11And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. 12For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
Paul is saying: do not participate in the habits of darkness. Do not normalize them. Do not act as though the works of darkness are neutral. Friendship with darkness is enmity with God (James 4:4).
To "reprove" means to bring light to - to expose what is evil by speaking truthfully about it. When you see something evil, the Christian response is to bring it into light and trust God with the outcome.
13But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. 14Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.
This is how light works: when you bring light into a room, the room is simply seen as it is - revealed. The unrepented evil in your life will eventually be brought to light - either by repentance now, or by God's judgment later. Better to be found in the light while there is still time to turn.
Paul is quoting something ancient - whether Isaiah, the Psalms, or a hymn we no longer have. "Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead" is a call to resurrection. It is a call to come back to life. The deadness you feel - that numbness, that going through the motions - is not your final state.
Ephesians 5:15-17Redeem the Time; Walk Wisely
15See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, 16Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
To walk "circumspectly" is to be aware, watchful, careful - present. Paying attention to where you are going, what you are becoming, how your choices are shaping you. A fool stumbles through life numb. A wise person is awake.
Wisdom is the gift of seeing your life from God's perspective - the ability to know what matters and what does not, what is worth your time and what is a waste. Wisdom comes from seeking God.
The image is stark: the days are evil, and they are passing. Time is not infinitely available. Paul is calling you to be intentional, to buy back the hours from triviality and use them for what matters. Every moment is a choice - will you let it be stolen by the world, or will you consecrate it to God?
The will of the Lord is revealed in Scripture, in prayer, in wise counsel, in the still small voice of the Spirit. To understand God's will is to ask: "What is He asking of me today? Where does He want me to go? How does He want me to love?"
Ephesians 5:18-20Be Filled with the Spirit
18And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; 19Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
A drunk man is mastered by something outside himself. Paul is saying: Do not be mastered by wine (or by anything - food, approval, fear, pleasure). Be mastered by the Spirit instead. Let the life of God flood through you instead. That is freedom.
A community filled with the Spirit sings - the heart that is full has to overflow. Psalms (the ancient hymns of Scripture), hymns (structured songs of faith), and spiritual songs (spontaneous praise) - the full range of music becomes a language of prayer and community.
The melody is made "in your heart to the Lord." The song is between you and God - an interior act, not a performance for others. A spirit filled with the Holy Ghost naturally breaks into thanksgiving, into worship, into joy.
Ephesians 5:21Submitting Yourselves One to Another
21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
This is the hinge verse. "Submitting yourselves one to another" sets the tone for everything that follows. Paul is introducing mutuality: you lay down your own desires for the sake of the beloved. This is what all Christian relationships look like.
The phrase "in the fear of God" is crucial. You submit out of reverence for God, trusting God more than you trust yourself to protect your own interests.
Ephesians 5:22-27Christ's Love for the Church; The Standard for Marriage
22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Paul opens the marriage passage by grounding wives' submission in their relationship to God - "as unto the Lord." The submission is to God, and the model for any authority is Christ.
When Paul calls the husband "head of the wife," he immediately clarifies what he means by comparing it to Christ and the church. Christ's headship is characterized by complete self-giving. He is the "saviour of the body." A head that does not save its body is not a head; it is a tyrant.
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
This is the standard: "as Christ also loved the church." Self-sacrificial love. The kind that dies. The kind that asks nothing back. The kind that lays down its own comfort, its own preferences, its own safety for the beloved.
The "washing of water by the word" is baptism - the public act of being made new. Christ cleanses the church through His Word. He speaks, and what is unclean becomes clean. What is broken is made whole. This is the pattern of Christ's love: it transforms.
Christ's purpose for the church is that she be "glorious" - full of beauty, honored, radiant, alive with the beauty of holiness. When you love another person as Christ loved the church, your aim is their flourishing.
Paul returns to the image: "holy and without blemish." Holy means set apart for God. Without blemish means whole, healed, restored. This is what Christ has made the church. And this is the measure for any who claim to love: Do your choices move toward making the beloved more whole, more holy, more themselves?
If you are not married, this passage is about you and God. Are you willing to be loved like this? To let yourself be made whole?
Ephesians 5:28-30Members of His Body, Of His Flesh, And Of His Bones
28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
This language echoes Genesis 2:23, where Adam first sees Eve and says, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh." Paul uses that same language to describe the relationship between Christ and the church. You are part of Him - really, not merely as a figure of speech.
A person nourishes and cherishes their own body. They feed it, rest it, heal its wounds. Paul is saying: Treat your spouse the same way - as your own body, with the care you give to keeping yourself alive and well.
Ephesians 5:31-33This Is a Great Mystery: I Speak Concerning Christ and the Church
31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
The mystery is that marriage itself is a parable. Two become one flesh. That union was hidden in the rest of Scripture, hinted at in the covenant language, foreshadowed in the imagery of God as husband and Israel as bride. But Paul is making it explicit: Your marriage, if you are married, is meant to be a sign of Christ's covenant with the church.
Paul is not reducing marriage to symbolism. Your actual marriage matters. But it also means something beyond itself. The way you love your spouse, the way you give yourself to them, the way you build a life together - all of it is a language that speaks to the world about Christ's love for the church.
The final verse returns to the practical: "Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Reverence means to hold someone in deep respect, to honor them, to recognize their goodness. Both lovers are called to lift the other up.