How to Pray When You Do Not Know What to Say

Before you begin: one honest sentence is a beginning

Sometimes prayer is difficult because a situation is too complicated to explain. Sometimes the difficulty is weariness, grief, distraction, shame, or uncertainty about what to ask. Those experiences do not all have the same cause, and this guide does not diagnose yours. It offers three biblical places to begin without requiring you to produce an impressive speech or report a particular feeling afterward.

If you need a starting sentence now, try: “God, I do not know what to say about this. Please help me.” You may then name one person, one concern, or one need. This is an original example, not a quotation or a promise that these exact words produce a certain outcome. The readings below explain why weakness, ordinary need, and honest complaint can all be brought into prayer.

Choose a quiet interval if you can, but do not wait for perfect surroundings. Read the passage aloud or silently. Notice one sentence that addresses your actual difficulty, and respond to it in plain words. You may write your prayer, speak it, or pause. A pause does not have to be filled by pretending you have heard a new message from God. You can simply remain attentive before continuing.

If you are accompanying someone else, ask whether they would welcome prayer and whether they want to name a concern. They may prefer silence or practical help. Do not press them to disclose a painful experience to complete an exercise. These readings are a resource for approaching God; they should not become another demand placed on an already burdened person.

Session 1: Prayer within weakness — Romans 8:18–27

Paul’s statement about not knowing what to pray appears in a passage about suffering, hope, and waiting. Verse 18 contrasts present sufferings with coming glory. Creation waits; believers wait; the redemption of the body remains in view. Reading those lines before verse 26 prevents the promise of help from becoming an instruction to deny pain or rush past it.

Three references to groaning shape the paragraph. Creation groans in verse 22. Believers groan in verse 23 even though they have the firstfruits of the Spirit. Verse 26 describes the Spirit’s intercession with groanings that cannot be uttered. The passage places the Spirit’s help alongside weakness already acknowledged. Having received the Spirit does not mean that believers have ceased to wait or to groan.

Verses 24–25 describe hope in relation to what is not yet seen. Waiting belongs to that situation. If the desired thing were already fully visible, the experience would be different. This does not make waiting pleasant or tell the reader how long a particular hardship will last. It gives the prayer passage a setting in which help and incompleteness coexist.

Verse 26 is unusually direct about limitation: “we know not what we should pray for as we ought.” Paul includes himself in the “we.” The difficulty is therefore not presented as an embarrassing exception belonging only to people who have never learned to pray. The verse names a weakness and says the Spirit helps it. The help is described as intercession, and verse 27 relates it to God’s will.

Notice what the text does not ask you to do. It does not tell you to manufacture groaning, identify a special sound as proof of spiritual success, or achieve certainty about the best outcome before praying. Its emphasis rests on the Spirit’s help. You can confess that you do not know what would be best without concluding that your prayer is disqualified.

Suppose you are trying to pray about a relationship you cannot repair by yourself. You might want reconciliation and also need wisdom about a truthful next step. An honest prayer could say, “God, I ask for healing here. I do not know what the other person will choose. Help me act truthfully, receive wise counsel, and avoid causing further harm.” This is an application of acknowledged limitation, not a claim that Paul names your particular situation.

Keep the wider chapter in view. Verse 34 speaks of Christ’s intercession, and verses 35–39 name distress and danger while affirming that they cannot separate believers from God’s love in Christ. The chapter does not define love as the absence of every hard circumstance. Its assurance gives room to bring the hard circumstance into prayer without first explaining it away.

Session 2: Let Jesus give prayer a shape — Matthew 6:5–15

Jesus introduces the prayer within teaching about an audience and a motive. Some people pray to be seen by others; he directs his hearers toward the Father who sees in secret. He also warns against trusting in much speaking, as though the quantity of words were the reason God would hear. Verse 8 says the Father knows what is needed before the request is made.

These instructions can relieve the pressure to perform. A brief prayer is not made inferior simply by being brief. At the same time, the passage does not command that every prayer be short or forbid every repeated sentence. The problem described is prayer for display and confidence in a multitude of words. Reading the actual reason for the warning is more helpful than creating a new rule about word count.

The prayer begins with “Our Father” and the honoring of his name. Its first movement concerns his kingdom and will. This gives a worried mind a starting direction beyond its own attempt to control the outcome. You can begin by acknowledging whom you address: “Father, let your name be honored in what I say and do today.” That sentence adapts the petition; it does not replace the words Jesus gave.

“Thy kingdom come” and “Thy will be done” can become invitations to ask how your desires relate to God’s purposes. This is especially searching when you want another person to do what you prefer. A prayer shaped by Jesus can include the hope for a good outcome and a request for your own conduct to be faithful. It should not be used to avoid responsibility by saying that whatever happens needs no response.

“Give us this day our daily bread” makes ordinary provision part of prayer. You may name food, work, shelter, or a practical need, recognizing these as applications of dependence for daily life. The plural words “our” and “us” also keep neighbors in view. Ask what provision someone around you needs and whether you can participate in helping, without imagining that you alone must solve every need.

The petition for forgiveness names both receiving mercy and extending it. Verses 14–15 continue the subject, so it should not be hurried past as an optional line. You can acknowledge a specific wrong, ask forgiveness, and consider a truthful step toward repair. Where another person has harmed you, seeking mercy does not require a false account of what occurred or pretending trust has already been restored. Prayer can include the desire to relinquish revenge while seeking protection and wise help.

The request concerning temptation and deliverance recognizes moral vulnerability. You may ask for help to avoid a familiar occasion for wrongdoing, tell the truth under pressure, or seek support when isolated. A concrete action can accompany the prayer: removing an opportunity for deception, asking someone for accountability, or stepping away from a conversation that is becoming cruel. The petition reaches the choices of ordinary life.

For a worked example, imagine an exhausting day when you can think only of tomorrow’s tasks. Pray one sentence under each heading: “Father, help me honor you. Guide my desires toward your will. Provide what we need today. Forgive my impatience and help me make it right. Help me forgive without hiding the truth. Keep me from the wrong I am tempted to excuse.” You can stop there or return to one line slowly. No additional eloquence is required to make the exercise complete.

Session 3: Speak honestly while waiting — Psalm 13

Psalm 13 begins with four “How long?” questions across its first two verses. The speaker describes feeling forgotten, experiencing God’s hidden face, carrying sorrow, and seeing an enemy exalted. The questions are addressed to the LORD. This is prayer taking the form of complaint within relationship, rather than a report polished to hide the speaker’s distress.

The line about being forgotten expresses the speaker’s experience in prayer. It should not be converted into a detached announcement that God has literally ceased to know him. Likewise, reading it faithfully does not require correcting the speaker before allowing him to finish. The psalm preserves the language of distress so that a reader can hear how such distress is brought before God.

Verses 3–4 move to petition: consider, hear, and lighten my eyes. The speaker asks for help in the face of death and the prospect of an enemy’s triumph. These are serious requests. The psalm is more than an exercise in emotional expression; the speaker wants God to act. An honest lament can name what hurts and ask for concrete help at the same time.

Verses 5–6 turn toward trust in mercy, anticipated joy in salvation, and singing because of God’s generosity. The psalm gives these words alongside the earlier questions. It does not narrate the external events between the complaint and the closing trust, nor does it provide a duration for the movement. Avoid turning its six verses into a timetable for how quickly another person should feel better.

You may be ready to pray the whole psalm, or you may need to remain with its opening questions. Read the ending as part of the testimony the psalm offers, even if you cannot yet describe your own emotions in its terms. You can ask for the capacity to trust rather than pretend that capacity already feels strong. Honesty about your position can itself shape a prayer.

A simple lament can use three movements drawn from the psalm: name the distress, ask for help, and remember a mercy or express a hope. For example: “Lord, I am weary of not knowing what happens next. Please hear me and help me with today’s responsibility. I remember the people who have cared for me; help me remain open to your mercy.” This example does not copy the psalm’s enemy situation into every reader’s life. It follows the movement while naming a different circumstance truthfully.

If even a remembrance feels difficult, leave a space for it. You could pray, “Help me recognize mercy I cannot presently see.” You might also ask a trusted person to read the psalm with you or simply sit nearby. Prayer and the support of other people can belong together. Nothing in the exercise requires you to manage a painful season alone.

Continuing when words are still difficult

You can return to the same prayer tomorrow. Matthew 6 warns against confidence in empty multiplication of words; it does not make a sincere returning request a failure. The practical question is whether the words are helping you address God truthfully. If a familiar sentence has become automatic, pause over one petition and name the actual need you are bringing.

Silence can also have a place, but you do not need to turn it into a test. Choose a brief pause that is manageable. When your attention wanders, return to the verse or the person you were praying for. Do not assume every thought arriving in silence is a divine instruction. If a thought concerns a significant decision, consider it carefully alongside Scripture, responsibilities, and wise counsel.

A written prayer from Scripture or another person can help when your own words are scarce. Read it attentively and adapt what needs to be adapted. Where a sentence describes a circumstance unlike yours, recognize that difference. Borrowing words can support honesty; it should not require you to claim an experience you have not had.

For the next week, keep a simple record of what you brought to prayer and any next step you took. Do not score the week by intensity of feeling or by how many requests received the outcome you wanted. You might instead notice that you named a concern more honestly, asked someone for help, made an apology, or remembered a mercy. The three passages give a place for weakness, a pattern for ordinary needs, and language for waiting.

An original closing prayer: “Father, you know the needs I struggle to name. Help me in weakness, teach me through the words Jesus gave, and receive my questions while I wait. Give me grace for today’s responsibilities and care for the people whose needs I bring before you. Help me return to you honestly.”

Sources and editorial note

• Romans 8, King James Version

  Primary text for weakness, groaning, intercession, and waiting in hope.

• Matthew 6

  Read verses 5–15 together so the prayer remains connected to Jesus’ teaching about motive and forgiveness.

• Psalm 13

  Primary text for the movement from complaint to petition and trust; no emotional timetable is asserted.

• Psalm 107:29: prayer and thanksgiving

  A companion study about rescue that preserves room for people whose distress continues.

Prepared with AI assistance for Learn of Christ and checked against the passages and sources listed here. This revision has not received independent human scholarly review. Scripture quotations are from the King James Version; prayers and exercises are original examples.

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